 Confidence is everything. Some women May appear average, but carry themselves boldly and with confidence, while others might be absolutely stunning and incredibly intelligent, but lack confidence. I'm willing to bet you already know which one will be the most successful in life and love.
We do not understand how dynamic we actually are. This can be applied not only to looks, but to emotions, intelligence, creativity, and more areas of our being. Sometimes all we need is to see ourselves differently. To see ourselves through someone else's eyes. To see ourselves through the eyes of someone who has made it their life's work to showcase the best in people. For many women, a boudoir photography session is the first time they have had a professional photographer focused solely on them. Many are mothers and when they get family pictures, their goal is to get the best pictures they can of their entire family, and to make sure their kids are smiling, and to make sure the group photo looks amazing. The photographer has a big job just trying to organize everyone and try to make sure everyone is looking the same direction. There is no way to singularly focus on Mom. And often the only pictures we see of ourselves are the ones someone took candidly, or maybe even posed, but from a terrible angle. And we see this and we believe it's true. It's not. It's half truths. The truth is, we are made up of all of the bad pictures and all of the amazing pictures and all of the average pictures. Our overall picture is the blending of all of those. But if you've never had the amazing picture, you're going to believe way less of yourself, because it waters down the median and gives it a negative bias. We have to be able to see the beautiful sides of ourselves. We have to know that we can bring it when we want to. We have to have something to light that fire. That ignites that confidence. Something needs to kick it off. And for many, a boudoir session is exactly that.   Why should you do a boudoir session? Boudoir is all about finding your best self. As women, we often only see ourselves from one angle, and it's usually our worst angle. But what would it be like to see yourself from someone else's eyes? Someone who only wants to see the most beautiful things about you? and wants you to see those things too? The truth is, you’re beautiful, and you deserve to see it. So this month, I invite you to an experiment. The next time you look in the mirror, instead of seeing what you don’t like, see what you love. Find something to love, and see the beauty in it. It’s a small, simple practice that can have a big effect on your mindset. I can’t tell you how many women I’ve worked with who have had a boudoir session and it changed the way they see themselves. They started to take better care of themselves and see themselves as worthwhile, of deserving love, of acceptance. The other thing that a boudoir shoot can do is fill a woman’s own memory bank with images that she can look back on and enjoy, to remind herself of times in her life when she felt the sexiest, to remind herself that she can be that person again. It’s a mind-shift. Empowering women to celebrate their bodies and what makes them unique. It can go a long way in helping women look forward to the future and BE CONFIDENT.   Boudoir photography, the art of photographing women in lingerie or nude, may seem like something reserved only for celebrities and famous models, but that’s not true at all. As a professional service, from hair and makeup to step-by-step posing instruction, boudoir photography has become something that anyone can do to feel empowered and sexy. Let’s take a look at how you can get started with your own boudoir session and why it’s just as powerful an expression of self-love as it is a gift to your significant other. What Is Boudoir Photography? Boudoir photography is a type of portrait photography designed to capture, in a fashion or glamourous way, images of a person who wishes to portray their sensuality and sexuality. Boudoir photographs are typically a mix of full-body shots and close-ups and may include nudity, by request.  Who Should Consider Getting It Done? You don't need an excuse to spice things up with sexy photos. That’s right: Boudoir photography isn’t just for brides-to-be! If you have a special event coming up—like a birthday or anniversary—and want to give your significant other something different, boudoir photos are an excellent gift idea. It's also a power move! Remind YOURSELF that you can bring the sexy whenever you please. See yourself through eyes that are not your own. Feel confident knowing that you can "bring it" whenever you choose. What To Expect During An Intimate Photoshoot A lot of ladies are intimidated by boudoir photography. There’s no reason to be, though! During an intimate photoshoot, you should expect nothing but fun and sensuality. You’ll have an opportunity to feel empowered while doing something daringly sexy. Whether or not you choose to share your images with anyone else is entirely up to you. That’s what makes it so special: it’s all about YOU.   Many people don’t know where to start or what to ask when it comes to booking a boudoir session. While I cannot answer this question for other photographers, it is a question I answer daily for my own studio. The first question I ask when someone inquires is when they will need their album in their hands. Timeline is important. From the date of your session to the time you have it in your hands can easily be up to six weeks. For this, and many other reasons, it is best to plan ahead. And more time is always better. After you choose a date and book your session, it’s time to start planning. There are things you’ll want to do ahead of time. For instance, you may wish to shop for the perfect lingerie or outfits. While you WILL have access to my boudoir closet, fit is never a guarantee. And at a minimum, you’ll want to have sexy, supportive bras and panties. Getting just the right gear sometimes takes weeks, especially if you’re ordering online. You’ll also want to make appointments to get your hair and nails done. You don’t want to do your hair too close to your session date. On the other hand, you’ll want your nails as fresh as possible. The same goes for lash extensions (please note, we do not offer false lashes if you have lash extensions). Bikini waxing? You’ll want to give that a couple days to calm down if your skin is prone to redness. If you’re getting lip injections, you’ll want to do that several months before your session to give it all time to settle. A lot goes in to preparing for your session, and it’s rare that we have any last minute dates available. So again… if you’re wanting your album in time for something (birthday, holiday, anniversary, etc), you’ll want to book a session date in advance. Once you book, you’ll start getting emails to help you prepare for your session: from tips on the best lingerie to flatter your frame, to suggestions on nail color. These are just guides, of course – you can OWN your session and do it however you like! To book your session, you must pay the session fee. It is the retainer and reserves the date so that you know that YOUR date is being held for YOU. The session fee covers the shoot itself, hair, makeup, lashes, and studio time. You come back about two weeks after your session for a viewing and ordering appointment. It is at this time that you will see your retouched images and make your selections. This is when you will decide on how many images you want, what size album, wall art, if desired, etc. Once your order is placed, it can take up to four weeks for it to arrive from our professional lab. Smaller albums tend to arrive in less than two weeks. Larger albums with upgrades take longer, as does wall art. Many clients opt for a date that is months from the time they call to book. This gives them time to start paying towards their order. Yes, we offer pre-payment plans. The beauty of a prepayment plan is that you have print credit at your ordering appointment. You also receive a 10% bonus on all prepayments. At your ordering appointment, we take cash (and offer a 5% cash discount), checks, all major credit cards, and also offer interest-free payment plans. If you opt for a payment plan, your order will not be available until you have finished the payment plan. So, if you’re considering booking a boudoir session, that’s the process! And if you ever have questions, simply reach out via email, text, or phone.   When clients call to book a boudoir session, some of their biggest concerns are about what they DON'T know how to do. I hear it all:
It’s okay. Seriously. This is what I do and I’m here for YOU. Your session comes with complimentary hair, makeup, and lashes. If you wish to do your own, you may. You simply arrive ready. But why not sit back and enjoy the entire service? And as far as posing goes, I will teach you all you need to know. Few women walk in knowing how to pose for boudoir photography. I will walk you through absolutely everything and I will even do most of the poses first to show you what you’ll be doing and what it should look like. You will walk away having learned new tricks! And when you book your session, I will send you several emails to help you prepare for your session. One of those is how best to flatter your frame. It really does help when selecting lingerie. And then… bring everything. Together we will go through all that you brought and figure out which pieces will work best for the pictures. And if we need MORE, I have an entire boudoir closet to which you will have access. I have sizes from xs to 6x. Nothing is a guaranteed fit, so it’s best to bring your own pieces that fit YOU well and reflect your desired outcome. But as long as you bring a minimum of a sexy, supportive black bra and panty, we can make most things work! And if you have other concerns, feel free to reach out. I’m happy to answer any questions and help you figure out how to get exactly what you want from your session. Happy Planning!  Think about the most beautiful woman you know. You want to know a secret? She has “that one thing” that makes her feel insecure. That makes her feel dissatisfied. That makes her somehow feel “less than.” It seems to be universal. I’ve worked with so many women and that is one of the things they all have in common. As it turns out – SURPRISE – not one of us is perfect. Who knew? No matter how perfect someone appears, they are having an internal battle with that “one thing.” My point in telling you this? YOU are not alone. And NO ONE is perfect. And we CANNOT fixate on our flaws. The more time we spend thinking about the things we don’t love about the way we look, the less time we get to spend celebrating the things about us that are BEAUTIFUL!  And maybe you have way more things that one than you are unhappy about. That’s okay. Most of us do. The point is not to focus on them. Focus on your beauty, instead. Because we all also have at least that ONE THING about us that gets compliments, that we feel good about… that thing that is worthy of celebration!
Maybe it’s your eyes. Your nose. Your lips. Your jawline. Your collarbone. Your tummy. Your hips. Your shape. Your chest. Your hair. Your legs. Your shoulders. Your back. Your muscles. Your eyebrows. I could go on… Having trouble finding it? Reach out to a friend. But seriously, ladies… celebrate the beauty and accept the flaws. You don’t have to love them, but once you accept them, you can move on to the celebration of YOU. And THAT is my favorite thing about boudoir photography… the celebration of you. The finding the beautiful things and showing them off. The PROVING (and I mean that) that you have those things. Some women come to me and they already know it – then we have fun showcasing it together. Others come in hoping I can help them find it. Spoiler alert. I can. But even if you’re not looking for boudoir pictures… as a matter of self-care, please look at yourself and accept any and all of those “one things” that make you feel insecure. You don’t have to love them, but please accept them. Then start really checking yourself out like the beautiful pieces of a complete puzzle and find all the beauty. Fixate on it. Celebrate the things God decided would be YOU. And if you decide you need help with that, I’m here for you.   I was blessed to have an AMAZING group of women join me to create an image that sends a very important message. A positive message. These women pushed past their comfort zones to participate in this session and for that I am eternally grateful. You are ALL warriors! Some of these women are mothers, some have gone through health issues that would bring others to their knees, and some have pushed through every barrier put in front of them. Like all women, they battle not only their own struggles, but the struggle society placed on them: the struggle to overthrow everything we grew up believing our bodies should be. The struggle to change our bodies into something that is “acceptable” for the public: the bikini body. There are “beach body” workouts and “beach body” diets and “beach body” articles encouraging women to attain a certain body type so they can have a “beach body.” So what exactly IS a beach body? Are there only certain types of bodies that belong on a beach? The answer? NO! It’s time to normalize ALL bodies! Take your body to the beach and enjoy your beach body.  The same concept centers around swimwear. Is your body ready for bikini season? Have you started your diet so you can get your bikini body? Why does our culture ask us these questions? And our own question remains the same… Are there only certain bodies that can wear bikinis? Again, the answer is NO. You see, a woman’s body is forever changing and adapting. It matures, it grows and nurses new life, it holds the ones it loves, and it deserves radical acceptance! Ladies, that’s not to say you have to LOVE everything about your body. That’s unrealistic, at best, and shamefully damaging at worst. But you DO have to accept your body. And you have to show it love. And you have to find the beauty, the power, the strength in your body. It’s such an amazing thing! Your body deserves to be celebrated exactly as it is! Treat yourself well. Eat food that provides all the nutrients you need and keeps you fueled for the day. Get plenty of sleep. And then… throw a bikini on and treat your body to the sunshine. Because YOU, you beautiful woman… YOU have a beach body! A HUGE thank you to those women who took their time, who faced their own fears, who pushed out of their comfort zones, and who believe in the message we are putting in front of you. You ladies are incredible. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey.    Many women have a certain amount of fear associated with their first boudoir session. This is totally understandable, since it's completely out of most people's comfort zone. So, let me put a few things out there to help assuage any fears you might have. I send out over half a dozen emails before your session to help you prepare. These emails help you figure out how to best flatter your frame, things you can do to prepare for the best session ever, and more. And my clients can respond to any of those emails if they have questions regarding them. Not to mention, at any time you can pick up the phone and call me. If I'm with a client, I can't answer, but I return calls same day every time. I've had many women tell me that they would love to do a session, but they have no idea how to pose. Let me reassure you... few people come to me knowing how to pose. Most people have no model training. Again, have no fear, because I will show you how to rock every single pose. Most of the poses I will do first and show you how to do them, and then I will direct you as you move. It actually becomes very technical... a slight move of the head here, a slight angle of the foot there. And everyone comes to me with different degrees of flexibility and fitness, but we can work around any issues you have. I've got you covered! Another concern that most women have, although not all, is their weight. I've had so many women tell me that they are waiting to book a session until they have lost a certain amount of weight. While everyone has a weight in mind that they consider ideal for themselves, few of us are actually where we want to be. And if you're using a boudoir session to incentivize yourself to get to the point you want to be, then go for it. But it's not necessary. More weight equals more curves. And curves are fun to showcase! If you're worried about your tummy or your arms or some other area of your body that you are not in love with, all you have to do is be completely open with me about your concerns. This is not about getting you to accept the things you don't love, but about showcasing the things you do. This is done through wardrobe choices and posing. Again, I've got you covered!  And when it comes to wardrobe, bring those things that make you feel your sexiest! Not everything photographs well, but I have enough experience to know which will work. Bring it all, and we'll sort through it here. And sometimes we are just not comfortable in our skin. I understand that, too. If you have not yet tried shapewear, I highly recommend it! Nude or black shapewear will be your best friend. If you tend to lean towards black lingerie, then I recommend black shapewear. It blends with the lingerie in pictures. And it keeps everything tight and lifted and in its place. Look for pieces with good boning, or pieces that go over your shoulder so that nothing rolls down. Sometimes this little addition to your wardrobe is all you need to feel completely confident in your lingerie. Years of speaking to women before their session have taught me that a woman's biggest fear is watching all of her insecurities laid out before her... A fear that she's going to see them in every single image. But boudoir photography is the opposite of that. Intimate portraits are about showcasing your assets. We all have things about us that are sexy, and a boudoir session is about bringing those to the forefront of your images. So, as you are getting ready for your session... Hair, makeup, and girl chat... Be as open as you can about your fears and your insecurities, and then throw them out the window and trust the process. This, ladies, is how you will blow your own mind! You will leave feeling completely transformed… you will see yourself in a beautiful new light, and this is something every woman deserves.   I've said it so often that I feel like I'm on repeat... we see ourselves so two-dimensionally. We look in the mirror, but we don't take our whole self in. We look in the mirror, and we start to pick apart all the little things that we don't love about ourselves. We focus on them. Sometimes we will rock a pose, and try to make ourselves look the way we want to look. But even then, do our eyes go to the beautiful areas we've just highlighted? Or do they, in that moment, still go to what we consider our problem areas? I know the answer. And honestly, it's sad. And we all need to stop doing it. I include myself in this "all." I know from experience that it's very hard to give yourself the win. But it's necessary! I love the expression, "we eat with our eyes." When food is served to us, we take it in with our eyes first. That stokes our appetite. We begin to salivate and we can't wait to try what is in front of us.  You can buy fruit at the grocery store and throw it in a basket. But when you see a basket displayed beautifully, you want it. You want it more than you see the fruit thrown into a basket. You want the fruit that's been carefully placed with its most beautiful parts showcased. Ladies, those two baskets of fruit taste the same. But remember... We eat with our eyes first. And so it is with boudoir photography. It doesn't change the way you look. It doesn't change your body. What it does is highlight the beauty. It puts your favorite things on display. It allows not only your significant other, but YOU, to eat with your eyes first. To feast on the beauty. To ignore the fact that the blemished apple is blemished side down. Because the apples taste the same, regardless.  We don't see ourselves the way others see us. They see us from every angle. From the side, sometimes from below us, sometimes they see our best angles, and sometimes they see our worst angles. But all of those angles make up the whole. We all have unflattering angles, and we all have amazingly flattering angles. Do you ever see a picture of yourself that's terrible and you immediately feel sad that you look like that? I do. I think we all do. But you have to remember, that is only one line of the story. There is so much more to the story. Do you ever see a picture of yourself that you think is exceptionally flattering? Like, you look at it and you think... “I didn't know I could look that good?” Because that happens, too. But let me tell you one thing that I have noticed... When women see a picture of themselves that they don't like, they say, "I look terrible." When they see a beautiful picture of themselves, they say, "That's a great picture." They put the negative on themselves, and they attribute the positive to the picture, and not to themselves. Guess what? That picture is another line of your story. It is also the truth. Both of those pictures are the truth. And there are many other pictures of the truth. They all go together to showcase the whole.  In photography, especially in intimate portraits, we want to showcase your sexiest, best self. Will there still be things about you that you don't love? Of course! But the transformative part of this type of photography is that you will see yourself in a whole other light. You will realize that you can be that beautiful basket of fruit any day you want to. And if you don't feel like it building a glamorous basket, you can throw the fruit in a plastic bag and call it a day. And none of it changes the truth. The most beautiful people are the ones that carry themselves with confidence. It has little to do with their physical appearances, and way more to do with how they feel about themselves. And this, ladies, is my favorite thing about Boudoir photography. It allows you to feel good about yourself. It showcases your beauty. It shows you who you can be anytime you want. It gives you the confidence to walk tall, knowing your potential. If you happen to live anywhere near Corpus Christi, Texas, I’m happy to be your boudoir photographer. If you’re not in the area and you need this in your life, please get in touch so I can connect you to a boudoir professional in your area.   The above images were taken with my cell phone on a timer and are unedited. They in no way reflect my actual photography skills. Please notice how the face appears to change shape as the camera is further from it. The images were cropped to the same size to make for easy comparison. I am constantly explaining to anyone who will listen… you do NOT look like your selfie! Check out your feed from any social media platform and examine all the selfies. Those pictures are taken close to the face and they are seriously distorted. The current trend is to get your eyes closest to the phone to make sure they look huge! You’ve seen this, right? The problem comes when your nose is actually the closest thing to the camera. The closer your face is to the camera, the more distortion your image will have. Period. Whatever is closest will appear the largest. Your nose will ALWAYS look bigger than it is in a standard selfie. Always. I read a fantastic article in Newsweek and it explained that more people are getting nose jobs because they don’t like the way they look in their selfies. What?!? Oh my gosh, y’all… we have GOT to educate ourselves! Your nose appears about 30% larger in a selfie. That’s a HUGE disparity between image and reality! This excerpt really stood out to me… “In January, a survey by the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery (AAFPRS) found that 55 percent of plastic surgeons said that their patients requested surgery to enhance their face to look better for selfies in 2017, while only 13 percent claimed to have executed a selfie-related surgery in 2016.” So what’s going on? People are taking a standard selfie and the camera is about a foot from their face. There are simple solutions… my favorite is the selfie stick. It’s awesome, even if your running buddies tease you about it… then all admit they secretly love the effect. It gets the camera away from you. And what is optimal for an accurate image? About five feet away. The selfie stick can do this. But what if you don’t have a selfie stick? Put your camera on a timer, set it down, and step back. Or grab the nearest person and have him or her take the picture for you. But let me tell you what you should NOT do… you should not look at an image taken from a foot away and think it’s an accurate depiction of your face. It is not. I constantly consider what my clients say to me about the way they feel concerning their looks. It’s fascinating, but mostly it makes me sad… they don’t even realize that they have a distorted perception of themselves. We see ourselves in only two dimensions… we look in the mirror and that is that. Or we take a selfie (see above). Neither showcases your best angles – only singular angles. Want to know what your angles REALLY look like? Want to see the beauty that others see, but that you keep denying? You need someone ELSE to take the pictures. You need perspective.  |
AuthorLori Stead has been a professional photographer for over a decade and LOVES the celebration of the female form. Archives
August 2022
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