Many women have a certain amount of fear associated with their first boudoir session. This is totally understandable, since it's completely out of most people's comfort zone. So, let me put a few things out there to help assuage any fears you might have.
I send out over half a dozen emails before your session to help you prepare. These emails help you figure out how to best flatter your frame, things you can do to prepare for the best session ever, and more. And my clients can respond to any of those emails if they have questions regarding them. Not to mention, at any time you can pick up the phone and call me. If I'm with a client, I can't answer, but I return calls same day every time.
I've had many women tell me that they would love to do a session, but they have no idea how to pose. Let me reassure you... few people come to me knowing how to pose. Most people have no model training. Again, have no fear, because I will show you how to rock every single pose. Most of the poses I will do first and show you how to do them, and then I will direct you as you move. It actually becomes very technical... a slight move of the head here, a slight angle of the foot there. And everyone comes to me with different degrees of flexibility and fitness, but we can work around any issues you have. I've got you covered!
Another concern that most women have, although not all, is their weight. I've had so many women tell me that they are waiting to book a session until they have lost a certain amount of weight. While everyone has a weight in mind that they consider ideal for themselves, few of us are actually where we want to be. And if you're using a boudoir session to incentivize yourself to get to the point you want to be, then go for it. But it's not necessary. More weight equals more curves. And curves are fun to showcase! If you're worried about your tummy or your arms or some other area of your body that you are not in love with, all you have to do is be completely open with me about your concerns. This is not about getting you to accept the things you don't love, but about showcasing the things you do. This is done through wardrobe choices and posing. Again, I've got you covered!
And when it comes to wardrobe, bring those things that make you feel your sexiest! Not everything photographs well, but I have enough experience to know which will work. Bring it all, and we'll sort through it here.
And sometimes we are just not comfortable in our skin. I understand that, too. If you have not yet tried shapewear, I highly recommend it! Nude or black shapewear will be your best friend. If you tend to lean towards black lingerie, then I recommend black shapewear. It blends with the lingerie in pictures. And it keeps everything tight and lifted and in its place. Look for pieces with good boning, or pieces that go over your shoulder so that nothing rolls down. Sometimes this little addition to your wardrobe is all you need to feel completely confident in your lingerie.
Years of speaking to women before their session have taught me that a woman's biggest fear is watching all of her insecurities laid out before her... A fear that she's going to see them in every single image. But boudoir photography is the opposite of that. Intimate portraits are about showcasing your assets. We all have things about us that are sexy, and a boudoir session is about bringing those to the forefront of your images.
So, as you are getting ready for your session... Hair, makeup, and girl chat... Be as open as you can about your fears and your insecurities, and then throw them out the window and trust the process. This, ladies, is how you will blow your own mind! You will leave feeling completely transformed… you will see yourself in a beautiful new light, and this is something every woman deserves.
I've said it so often that I feel like I'm on repeat... we see ourselves so two-dimensionally. We look in the mirror, but we don't take our whole self in. We look in the mirror, and we start to pick apart all the little things that we don't love about ourselves. We focus on them. Sometimes we will rock a pose, and try to make ourselves look the way we want to look. But even then, do our eyes go to the beautiful areas we've just highlighted? Or do they, in that moment, still go to what we consider our problem areas? I know the answer. And honestly, it's sad. And we all need to stop doing it. I include myself in this "all."
I know from experience that it's very hard to give yourself the win. But it's necessary!
I love the expression, "we eat with our eyes." When food is served to us, we take it in with our eyes first. That stokes our appetite. We begin to salivate and we can't wait to try what is in front of us.
You can buy fruit at the grocery store and throw it in a basket. But when you see a basket displayed beautifully, you want it. You want it more than you see the fruit thrown into a basket. You want the fruit that's been carefully placed with its most beautiful parts showcased. Ladies, those two baskets of fruit taste the same. But remember... We eat with our eyes first.
And so it is with boudoir photography. It doesn't change the way you look. It doesn't change your body. What it does is highlight the beauty. It puts your favorite things on display. It allows not only your significant other, but YOU, to eat with your eyes first. To feast on the beauty. To ignore the fact that the blemished apple is blemished side down. Because the apples taste the same, regardless.
We don't see ourselves the way others see us. They see us from every angle. From the side, sometimes from below us, sometimes they see our best angles, and sometimes they see our worst angles. But all of those angles make up the whole. We all have unflattering angles, and we all have amazingly flattering angles.
Do you ever see a picture of yourself that's terrible and you immediately feel sad that you look like that? I do. I think we all do. But you have to remember, that is only one line of the story. There is so much more to the story. Do you ever see a picture of yourself that you think is exceptionally flattering? Like, you look at it and you think... “I didn't know I could look that good?” Because that happens, too. But let me tell you one thing that I have noticed... When women see a picture of themselves that they don't like, they say, "I look terrible." When they see a beautiful picture of themselves, they say, "That's a great picture." They put the negative on themselves, and they attribute the positive to the picture, and not to themselves. Guess what? That picture is another line of your story. It is also the truth. Both of those pictures are the truth. And there are many other pictures of the truth. They all go together to showcase the whole.
In photography, especially in intimate portraits, we want to showcase your sexiest, best self. Will there still be things about you that you don't love? Of course! But the transformative part of this type of photography is that you will see yourself in a whole other light. You will realize that you can be that beautiful basket of fruit any day you want to. And if you don't feel like it building a glamorous basket, you can throw the fruit in a plastic bag and call it a day. And none of it changes the truth.
The most beautiful people are the ones that carry themselves with confidence. It has little to do with their physical appearances, and way more to do with how they feel about themselves.
And this, ladies, is my favorite thing about Boudoir photography. It allows you to feel good about yourself. It showcases your beauty. It shows you who you can be anytime you want. It gives you the confidence to walk tall, knowing your potential.
If you happen to live anywhere near Corpus Christi, Texas, I’m happy to be your boudoir photographer. If you’re not in the area and you need this in your life, please get in touch so I can connect you to a boudoir professional in your area.
About the Author
Hi, I'm Lori and I'm a true "girl's girl" and I love helping women to see how beautiful they can be - to showcase them in a way they may not have seen themselves before. Like many women, I've had to fight to learn to love my body and appreciate the beauty in me. My goal is to help EVERY woman to do the same.